POSTSECRET August 6, 2010

This is a post that I have been looking forward to writing for some time now. And it has nothing to do with the United Kingdom or the British! It is a project that I became involved in (unknowingly) a few years ago that has turned out to be a very interesting and unique experience. If you are unaware of PostSecret, let me start at the beginning...

As a mail carrier (in Germantown, MD) you get used to seeing unusual things go through the mail. I have delivered ashes of deceased pets and humans to teary eyed customers; tons of certified letters sent by bill collectors to equally teary eyed customers; valuables in registered mail; live baby chicks, ducklings, worms, crickets, car tires and wheels, steamer trunks, and even packages that are broken and oozing unknown materials. I have even been known to pick up a dog or two who had broken out of their yards and returned them to their owners. You'd think I'd be immune to odd things. But nothing prepared me for PostSecret!

Let me start off by explaining the process of casing mail. Every mail carrier has their own route covering a certain territory. In the office each route has their own case. The big metal case is labeled with everyone's addresses, each address having their own slot where the mail is put. We carriers stand at that case all morning "casing" all the mail for our customers. The mail comes to us in trays and buckets and we are basically sorting for anywhere from 4-6 hours a morning. After all the mail is cased, we pull it all down, in order of delivery

One customer of mine (Frank Warren) started receiving a few post cards in the mail daily. They were preprinted with his address and looked like a card that a dentist office would send reminding you of an upcoming appointment. It was just something I subconsciously noticed. There were just a few every day and they all looked the same. I never turned them over to look at the other side. All I was concerned with was the address side. So for a while I didn't pay much attention. We deal with thousands upon thousands of letters during our mornings of casing our mail and don't usually look to see who a letter is from or what it is. That all changed one day for me.

While casing one of Frank's post cards one fell out of my hands and landed upside down on the floor. I gasped when I read in huge bold letters I LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS. You can imagine my shock. That's all it said. It had bright coloring underneath the letters. I'll never forget it. I immediately ran around showing my close friends what I had found in the mail. One guy was so shocked he said, "Did a girl write it?" I was like, "how the heck do I know, who cares?" I looked on the address side of the card and read the preprinted instructions next to Frank's address. It invited you to participate in a group art project by writing a secret (that no one else knows) on the other side of the card and mailing it anonymously to the printed address. I don't have to tell you that I pulled the few postcards that were in his address slot that day and began reading them immediately! From that day forward, me, (and a few friends at work who I had showed the postcard to) began reading all the cards daily. I still didn't really know what was going on, but was intrigued.

A few weeks later I happened to meet Frank's lovely wife Jan at the mailbox. She had a knowing little smile on her face and looked as if she knew what I was going to ask. She explained that Frank started this little "experiment" a while ago, handing out these preprinted postcards at metro stations, art exhibits, and shops in Georgetown and the Washington, D.C. area. I think he also went to local libraries and put them inside various books for people to find. The postcards began to trickle in from his efforts. He was enjoying reading the cards and really didn't expect much more from his experiment. We discussed it for a few minutes and I went on my way.

However, as time went on the postcards began to more than just trickle in. We at the post office were having a blast reading them every day. There were silly, funny, serious, sad, lonely, hateful, every kind of emotion you could imagine on these little postcards. The exceptionally funny ones were passed around the office for everyone to share. One of my co-workers said she couldn't believe that this person lived on MY route. She said, "of all people to get this on their route, YOU!" I took it to mean that she knew I was thoroughly enjoying it and maybe she was a tad jealous! I have to say that it was fun and a great conversation topic, but despite all that, I began to learn from it. There are many many sad and lonely people out there and some of these postcards would break your heart. Suddenly the problems that I or my friends might have, seemed small in comparison to the ones I was reading. It certainly made me take a look at my life and realize how lucky I was. I just wanted to reach out and help but they were always anonymous except for the postmark you hadn't a clue where the card came from.

By now I had also talked to Frank about his project. He came out to the box one day and said, "I hope some of these postcards aren't too unsettling for you". I thought it was such a perfect statement as some of them were very crude and he had to know that I was seeing them and possibly becoming offended. I assured him that I could handle it and thought the whole thing was a unique idea. Shortly thereafter Frank started a website for his cards. He began by posting several cards on the website every Sunday from his weekly bundle. And the whole thing just got bigger and bigger.

Soon I was getting postcards from overseas, home made cards, extravagant cards that took hours to create. I remember one that had paper clips and office supplies taped all over it and said something to the effect of "I hate my boss so I waste office supplies". So many people hate their bosses. I wish I could remember all the tricks that have been played on them. One of my favorites was from a person who wrote "When I was a young man in Florida I used to work in a post office as part time Christmas help. We used to read all the postcards that came through. Do you all still do that?" I wanted to scream, "Yes, we still do!" to the guy, but he will never know my answer. I also read ones that left me feeling depressed like the one that wrote about watching her neighbor starve his dog to death in his backyard and she hadn't done anything about it. She feels so guilty and can't get over it. I felt her sadness right through her words on the card. There were quite a few that were actual photographs where a whole family would be standing in the photo and the mom would be scratched out and something like "thanks Mom for ruining my life" over the photo. A lot of them about family dysfunction. There were some that were so bad I can't even repeat here. I was getting a glimpse into strangers' minds and souls. It was heartbreaking at times, and other times inspiring.

I don't know which happened first, the media got wind of the website or Frank put out his first book. All I know is that I rolled up in my truck one day and there were cameras and a reporter interviewing Frank by the mailbox. They were so excited that they happened to be there when the secrets were actually being delivered. I am camera shy (yes, believe me, I am) so I would never allow them to take pictures of me. However, many of them have pictures of my truck slowly pulling up to the box and my hand putting the mail in. I have been interviewed and asked all kinds of questions like "do you read the postcards?" which at that time my reply was, "well, we're not allowed to read the mail, but sometimes they accidentally get turned over" or "does Frank treat you well at Christmas?", which I respond with a resounding "YES" (even though we aren't supposed to accept tips, yeah right). One asked me if I'd ever written in a secret. I actually HAD written a secret in, but his question took me off guard and I suddenly felt flustered, like somehow he would KNOW which one was mine, so I told him "no". Now I realize how silly that was. I never told that to Frank, I guess I should have. Anyway, Frank would stand by with a proud smile knowing that I was enjoying my little moment of fame. He'd go on a radio or talk show and my phone would start buzzing, "that guy on your route is on TV!" Then one day Frank got me at a weak moment and snapped a picture of me delivering his mail. The next book that came out had that picture right in the front! Was I ever shocked! But it was a fun surprise. My daughter was reading the website one day and clicked on a clip of one of Frank's speeches. She was amazed to see ME up on the screen behind Frank. She said, "hey, that's my mom!"

I actually DID get a little fame from it! Some of the postcards started coming with "Hi Kathy" on the front. Frank has a large mailbox with a marker inside where people can come and sign his mailbox. There are a lot of messages written on it to me, thanking me for delivering the secrets. Frank even organized a Internet Christmas letter to me with messages from his followers online and then he printed it out for me at Christmas time. I felt very special. He was always quick to acknowledge me as an important part of PostSecret. He has also given me all his books, signed to me by him of course. He even signed one for my daughter. I have friends from other states who have emailed me and asked if there was any way that I was "Kathy the mail carrier" that they had read about on this new website for secrets they found. It's a small world, that's for sure. I told him a funny story once. I was about a half a mile from his house serving another customer one day and she asked me the "are you the Kathy from PostSecret?" question. I told her I was and she was SO impressed. She had just bought one of his books for her daughter who is a huge fan of PostSecret. She asked me if I would sign the book for her. I told her that I could do better than that. If she would give it to me I'd take it to Frank and have him sign it. She responded, "Oh, no, I want YOUR signature!" How funny is that? Frank was tickled when I told him that. I actually out did him on that one!  Shortly after I quit work Frank had an exhibit at the American Visionary Art Museum.  I was invited to attend but was traveling at the time.  The Art Museum made me a brightly colored tiara with "USPS Wonder Woman" written on it.  Frank sent it to me and I will always cherish it.  I wish I could have been there in person to accept it.

Sometimes when I arrived at his mailbox there would be a postcard just lying in there that someone had driven to his house and dropped off for him. I often wondered if it made him nervous to have his address "out there" to millions of people. But he never seemed worried about it. One day when I got to the box there was a note. I picked it up (I wasn't being nosy, a lot of times customers leave us notes to do something like go to the door to retrieve a package or whatever). To paraphrase, the note said "Our parents think we are sleeping in the tent in my backyard but we took a road trip to see your mailbox instead!" and was signed by two girls from Ohio!! Crazy!  

When I left the Post Office in January 2010, to move to England (for 3 years), the secrets were still coming fast and furious. For the past couple of years there were so many that I could not possibly read them all. I'd read a few that happen to catch my eye. Sometimes one of the clerks who sort the mail to the various routes, would read an interesting one and leave it wrong side up in my stack of letters, so that I would read it. It has really opened my eyes to the lives of people all around you. There are so many stories behind the faces. If we could be as open to each other as the people who pour out their secrets, I think it would be a more understanding world. But too often people are afraid to show their inhibitions, sufferings and well, their secrets. As long as we have PostSecret, there is an outlet for those want to share. I have no doubt that it has been a good thing.

Frank's website is one of the most visited websites in the whole world. www.postsecret.com  Even with that popularity he has never allowed any advertising on it. He hopes to keep it this way. His books and his travels have raised thousands of dollars for suicide prevention, a cause he cares about greatly. He travels all over the country delivering speeches mostly on college and university campuses. His speeches are very popular and draw huge crowds.

As happy as I was to retire from the post office I was very sad to leave the PostSecret project and my friends; Frank and Jan, their daughter Hailey and their wonderful, funny, lovable dog Shadow! I couldn't have asked for nicer customers and a more interesting experience. If Frank posts my blog on his website I hope his readers can tell how much their secrets meant to me over the years.


With Frank's permission I am putting some of the cards (taken from his books) here on my blog along with a few other things that mean so much to me. I hope that I have done Frank's project justice with my reflections.






Frank's preprinted post cards that he passed out to start the project.  Sorry for the fuzziness.

                     THE POSTCARDS

IN FRANK'S WORDS 

Frank's words to me.